The I AM is always well

I have taken up a practice of not only saying hello to people I pass on the trails in the forest area I hike in each morning, but of also saying, “I hope you have a wonderful day!”

The other day when I said this to a woman I passed, about ten feet beyond me she turned and shouted back, “That was awesome!” and gave me a thumbs up.

Today, I came alongside a woman I was passing and gave the greeting and blessing. She replied back that she had decided that today she is well. Then she said, “How about you?” and I said, “Absolutely, every day! Why make any other choice?”

On the level of personality and separate self, there can be a fluctuation in states of consciousness or mood and choice comes into play. When I am talking about the I AM part of this equation, choice is not required. It, the I AM, cannot be disturbed by what occurs in the manifest realm with varying circumstances.

The more time I spend in conscious relationship with and appreciation for the Earth, the more I naturally rest in the I AM. Ease and magic flow into the rest of my day as well. I am marveling at the change in my overall state of being that has come from investing time with the Earth each day.

The other night when I left with two friends to go to a community dinner, it was starting to rain. I said, “There’s going to be a rainbow,” because the sun was peeking through. As we drove to the event the light rain became a deluge of rain and hail. Indeed a rainbow did appear, not only one but two, and as we came to our destination the end of the lower of the two rainbows came down in the street right where we were. Wow! I have never had a rainbow come down right in front of me and when I looked up at both rainbows, the hail still coming down looked like diamonds falling from the sky.

All I can say is living in harmony with life is beyond magical. Never before have I felt so “well.”

Image by Ales Krivec from Pixabay

Through these eyes

Have you ever had the experience where you’re sitting somewhere or maybe out walking, and you look up, expecting to see something familiar, and what you see instead startles you?

One day this summer I was sitting in the living room of our townhouse and heard the front door open and close. I knew that my wife, Kate, was due to stop by between meetings. I got up and walked into our hallway and saw her familiar figure. We walked toward each other for a hug and a kiss, but when I met her eye to eye, something unexpected happened. What flashed through this consciousness was, “Oh it’s me!” That which was looking through these eyes saw Itself – no Evan, no Kate, no Other, just Self.

For the hour before Kate arrived home I had moved in and out of meditative states and had settled deeper and deeper into an inner stillness. At one point, lying on the couch, it felt that “I” was slipping out of the body, as though I was falling asleep while still very aware. At that exact moment our cat leapt onto my chest with a yowl, something she never does. I sat up quickly and the cat bolted out of the room. I was recovering from the suddenness of that transition when I heard Kate opening the front door.

After that brief hug in the hallway, Kate kept moving, time-pressed and unaware of what I had just experienced. I was startled into silence. We shared another hug as she headed out the door and I went back upstairs and onto our little sun deck.

To be startled means to be shocked, disturbed, or unsettled, and all three meanings applied to me. I was in an altered state, standing in the sunshine, open, silent, both me as separate self and not me. The presence looking through these eyes saw the trees, the breeze moving the branches, the sky, a butterfly, a crow – and saw everything as Self. “Evan” would ask questions and try to understand, while the Self simply was everything.

The experience continued with some strength for about an hour before fading into the background. What has persisted is this sense of being startled and disturbed. For one thing, the glimpse of everything as oneness has amplified the longing to live as an expression of oneness to a point where it is an ache in my heart center. There’s this feeling of, “I got so close, why can’t I stay there.”

At the same time, I have been shown a TRUTH: that oneness is what is. Oneness is what I am, what we are; the I and the we always express the one. My analytical mind says that truth should put an end to the longing. Instead, I am in an odd kind of limbo. I walk around in the world seeing everything through an interface of separate self, unable to shake that identity.

I can see that the identity is an overlay. I can know intellectually that I am the one, I have these glimpses and these tastes to confirm that truth.

What I want is to live in and from the complete knowing of I AM THAT.

I was going to say that I am impatient and that waiting is hard. What comes, though, is the realization that waiting implies “not now but in some imaginary future.” Everything my monkey mind kicks up brings me back to the question of trust. Do I trust that what I am, the true essential nature of what I am, can never be separate? Do I trust that this essence is the one essence in ALL?

I know that any attempt to hang on to an experience or state is not only futile but an almost sure-fire way to create suffering. Life is change! That is a statement of deep truth. So, do I trust that even though, in this moment, I am not directly experiencing oneness, I am that oneness?

In this moment, I’m going with Yes!

Photo by Jordan Whitfield on Unsplash

You are an emperor, not a beggar

You are an emperor, not a beggar.
You possess the untold wealth of the universe, unimaginable riches.
Don’t beg for enlightenment, don’t plead for it.
You are the Self, don’t assume that you are impoverished.
Give up that yearning and be quiet and
the treasure will be self-evident as your very nature.

Author unknown

“We are all gods and goddesses in training,” wrote Deepak Chopra.

We have come forth to explore and manifest that potential within us.

We have come forth to be a god/goddess in finite form and to anchor and embody an aspect of the infinite Love and potential that is within our Source.

We are here to unravel the mystery of who we are.

We are here to discover the majesty of who we are.

We can never fail; we have success written all over and within us.

It is encoded in our DNA, in our eternal, hard-wired template.

We are chips off the old holographic block. We are made in his/her Image. We are co-creators.

When we enter the Silence, deep from within us a feeling rises, a “knowing” of who we really are.

And in this place of clarity, we “know,” beyond any doubt, fear, or limiting belief system who and why we are.

We know that we are of noble stock and heirs of all that is great and good.

“Be still and ye shall know.”

The strongest tree has the deepest roots. Dig deep, deep within and you will find and come to Know thy Self.

Collapsing wave forms: Removing limiting beliefs

This is a juicy, esoteric post for those of you who love this type of exploration as much as I do. And yes…principles of quantum physics are involved. The visualization is quite complex, but powerful.

In support of my self-care repertoire for rebalancing, the universe recently provided me with  a “healing spa” in nature. I had been longing for time in nature and was planning a national parks road trip to spend time camping. But I had also just returned from a very cutting-edge clinic with a new set of protocols to follow, protocols that would be challenging to do while traveling. Of course, the universe resolved the situation for me perfectly.

A friend whose mother has a house within walking distance of Chautauqua Park in Boulder, Colorado had invited me to stay in the house until December, since her mother is living with them. I gratefully accepted the offer, but I didn’t fully understand its perfection until I headed up to explore the park this morning. The Flatirons provide a rich wilderness area in an urban setting and on my first venture up one of the trails I was guided to my “healing spa.” It is a large, almost flat rock at the base of a pine tree, an ideal place for layering my practices. Here’s what that flow looks like:

  • I do a grounding protocol. It’s inspired by Sarah McCrum, but instead of standing, I lie on my back on the rock, as close as possible to the tree, with my legs upward and my feet flattened against the bark. I ground my energy into the tree through my legs.
  • I have been doing Kaiut yoga to release stuck energy and trauma from the fascia. Having my legs on the tree is part of that.

I’ve melded many components into what feels like a very powerful practice for me. Hopefully it will have intriguing elements for you as well.

After establishing the grounding connection with the tree, I place my palms on my thighs and see my energy running into the tree and that energy piggybacking on the tree’s energy and being carried down through its root system into the Earth. I state out loud that I am connecting with the intelligent network of the New Earth and then see the energy continuing down to “inner Earth” and a crystalline blue-white orb of light. I see the crystalline blue-white light flowing back up through the Earth, into the tree, through my feet, and moving back down through my upstretched legs. Then the blue light rests in my womb as a circulating blue orb. I let it cleanse the wounded feminine energy held through my lineage and in the collective. The circulating blue orb remains in my womb to continue its work as the blue light continues up through my chakras to the heart center. There it meets a golden-white light pouring down from heaven, which I name the sacred masculine, the eternal void from which all possibilities arise and are sparked by the creative impulse.

On the way down to the heart center to join the blue light, the golden-white light deposits a pulsating, circulating golden-white orb in the pineal gland. The crystalline blue orb remains in the womb and the golden-white orb remains in the pineal while the blue and gold light (representing the sacred masculine and feminine) continue their journeys to meet in the heart-center where they form a rainbow orb in the heart.

While the blue orb in the womb, the golden orb at the pineal gland, and the rainbow orb in the heart all remain active, I integrate into this process a meditation from Dr. Valerie Hunt for creating bioscalar fields. I add in three golden rods of light of equal length piercing my body. One comes directly down through the center of my body. The second penetrates my body  horizontally through my outstretched arms. The third rod goes through my body horizontally from front to back. All three intersect in the heart center where the rainbow orb is pulsing and circulating. I see myself pulling the golden light from the ends of each rod into the pulsating rainbow orb in my heart center and then directing that energy to where it is needed for healing.

The last element in this process is for collapsing the wave forms of limiting thoughts. In quantum physics everything is understood as frequency and vibration. Everything has a unique frequency, including every thought. When you identify the frequency of a limiting thought, and then find its opposite, more powerful frequency and put those energies together, the limiting thought cancels out. In other words, it collapses.

I was surprised by how all of the elements that were so vivid while I was lying on the rock with my eyes closed remained vivid after I opened my eyes and stood to walk farther up the mountain. The inspiration to add the collapsing process came as I was walking; I was fascinated by how all the pieces of this powerful field moved with me.

In a funny way, the strong visual for collapsing wave forms came from a video game called, Bejeweled. In the game, when you make an effective combination of moves, you receive a “power gem,” which is a vibrating, circulating rainbow-colored orb. That is exactly how I was seeing the orb in my heart center. The orb in my womb remained blue and the orb in the pineal gland, gold.  In Bejeweled, if you pull a power gem into alignment with another of the same type of gem, they explode and you see bolts of lightning taking out all of the gems that are the same as the power gem. There is also a general collapsing in the field and a lot of other gems get taken out too. This play earns you a lot of points.

So let me tie this together.  As I was walking, with all aspects of the visualization I had created lying on the rock still tangibly active, I heard “collapse separation.” Holding the thought and feeling of separation, I powerfully drew in the energy from the ends of each of the golden light rods that I imagined piercing my body. Then I amplified the sacred feminine, crystalline blue light and the sacred masculine, golden white light and saw everything lining up with the orbs of light still spinning at the three points in my body (womb, heart, and pineal gland). As all of this aligned, I saw the” lightning bolts,” as in the game, move through the field and collapse all thoughts related to separation.

Being an eternal optimist and a child of wonder, I felt that something real had happened. I can’t scientifically prove it, although Dr. Hunt has a lot of data on healing in the research on Scalar meditation.

These powerful times are setting us up to activate our capacities at higher and higher levels. That’s definitely what this morning’s experience felt like. I intend to continue the practice as part of my daily forest spa routine. I’ll keep you posted on how it all evolves.

Image by Michael Gaida from Pixabay

On being passport-less, reconnecting your engine, and having a persona make-over.

Welcome to the next wave of *Fika for Your Soul*!

The summer is coming to an end here in the UK. That said, the weather has been and continues to be stellar. Living by the sea is such a treat.

Reflecting on the summer months, I’m made aware of a bigger pattern that’s up.

…The pattern of IDENTITY.

Yep. Why go for the small stuff, eh?! 🙂

Whether our focus is personal, local, regional, or global, it seems that the collective pot that contains our identity – who we are and how we show up – is being royally stirred at present. With some of our leaders challenging our understanding of what leadership is…it provokes an intimate look at what we consider decent behaviour and, in extension, who we want to be. For some this is a welcome nudge, for others not so much.

Back in May, I had to send my passport to the Home Office in connection with my EU Settlement Status application.

As an expat, I take my passport *everywhere* as it’s my only means of identification. Being passport-less…crikey, massive DISCOMFORT!

Having said a temporary good-bye to my burgundy friend I felt vulnerable.

I felt trapped because I couldn’t travel, but I discovered…

…being without my passport was also exciting. Sending it off meant I had to “let go” of my passport, and metaphorically speaking, my persona. (Truth be told, only upon reflection did I see this deeper meaning.) 🙂

To give some context: I think of “persona” as the amalgamation of the roles I inhabit in different parts of my life. It’s filled with conditioning and beliefs. It’s made up of stories that I’ve told myself about me, or that others have told me about me. It’s built upon my knowledge and experiences, my education in life.

I’m sharing all this here today because a good few years ago I realised that my version of ME (my persona) wasn’t my own. I woke up one day not recognising who I was. I felt disconnected from my own life. It felt like my soul had fallen silent.

Back then, on the surface, my life was a brilliant one. But, on looking under the proverbial hood, I saw many cables and connectors were loose, detached from the engine’s components. How could the vehicle that is my life run (anywhere!) unless everything was fully connected?

So, I made the decision to re-connect with myself. To figure out who I was at that time. Who I wanted to be, how I wanted to show up in life.

Fast-forward quite a few years…

As an extension of this exploration, I’ve reoriented my work to have soul-leadership be my focus, to guide people to rediscover their soul’s voice, and to help them align their inner and outer worlds (no need to choose one over the other). To help them create freedom and wholeness. Just as I did for myself. 

That isn’t to say that I’m all done. No. It’s a continuous journey. But now, my engine is connected and my vehicle is taking me to places that are meaningful to me.

I’ll close by circling back to identity.

…Not surprisingly, our everyday situations and circumstances give clear pointers to our identity, and how we identify ourselves.

If it’s been a while since you thought about the words and language you use to describe yourself, or you’ve recently felt a desire, nudge, or even a yearning to revisit how you describe today’s version of you, here are a few tips to get you started.

Ask a few of your closest and most trusted friends or connections to share:

  • Three characteristics that would describe you.
  • Your top three strengths.
  • Three words that would signify how you show up.
  • How you make them feel.
  • What’s your special sauce.
  • What colour and shape they would ascribe to you, if they were to describe you this way.

These are just examples; I’m sure this will spark alternative versions that are perfect for you. No matter which questions or characteristics you use, you’ll be surprised at what others see in you that you may not see in yourself. I did this a few years ago myself. At first it was terrifying, so I started with a small circle, then expanded it a bit the feedback took me by surprise. I found out that the way I described myself was seriously out of date. We would benefit from doing this exercise regularly as we change and evolve with every interaction. (Not leave it for 20 years like I did!) 

I’m happy to report that my passport was safely returned from the Home Office, and the application for settled status was approved. I’m no longer in no man’s land. I can travel again. And, in terms of the right to live and work in the UK…I’m prepped for Brexit. 🙂

..from my soul to yours,


If someone has forwarded this email to you and you’d like to receive your own copy in the future, let me know here.

*Fika for Your Soul* is about connecting with inspiration from everyday situations and conversations. It’s about discovery, reflection, leaning into, and stretching beyond…how we may see, understand, and express freedom, exploration, and leadership (among other things), all in the context of our daily lives.

If you follow anyone other than your Self, you will surely get lost

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
Do not believe in anything because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers or elders.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason,
and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live it.
The Buddha, in the Kalama Sutra

I find the advice above from the Buddha rather amazing given that it was spoken over 2,500 years ago. Nowadays with the internet and the incredible amount of information that is available to us, his guidance is even more essential.

An old adage goes: “No shoe fits all sizes.” So, too, no teaching or teacher is the proper fit for everyone. I have learned over the years to practice discernment and really go within to make sure that whatever teacher or teaching I am engaging with really rings true for me.

Initially, of course, I take the time to study and research the teacher or teachings, but I have learned to not primarily use my mind and to not do an intellectual analysis to determine what’s true for me. What I have learned to do, instead, is to quiet my mind, go into the stillness, and just “feel into” whether this is right for me at this time in my evolution. And then if it feels right, I accept it, explore it, and live it.

It’s not a one-time thing. I am constantly growing and changing, so I periodically go within to check again to see whether a particular teaching, teacher, or practice still “feels” right.

I am not saying it’s best to keep shopping around and never settle on anything. Not at all! What I am saying is to always go within to make sure you are still on the right path, namely your own path and not anyone else’s.

A path is not a static experience. It is something you continue to travel on; it is a journey. Yes, at times you stop to rest, but then you get up and continue moving through an ever-changing landscape. Your life, your dreams, and your beliefs are constantly evolving!

Every teacher/teaching is a step up your mountain of mastery. But each step leads to another step. No step is an end in itself.

One thing I love to repeat over and over in my classes is: “If you follow anyone other than your Self, you will surely get lost.”

You must be true to yourself. The only way to do that and to know your path and yourself is to regularly go within and listen. Then you will stay on your path.

So, take some time every day to go within. That’s how you’ll find and follow your Self, and learn to know and believe in your Self.

Believing the impossible

“One can’t believe impossible things,” Alice said.
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll

What is possible? Whatever you believe to be possible is what is possible! The impossible is impossible because you believe it to be so.

We create our reality by virtue of what we believe. Within each one of us is enormous potential, but often we do not manifest it or even realize it is there. The Latin root for the word “potential” and for “potency” is the same.

Within each of us is such great potency or power or potential to create, but because we think small, we create and experience small. The Universe/God is infinite potential waiting to be actualized. We, through our thoughts and feelings, can draw in this infinite potential and make it become manifest. This drawing in of that infinite potential via our thoughts is precisely what enables us to be co-creators made in his/her Image.

But if your thoughts and beliefs about what is possible for you are small, you will never dream or create or experience “big.” Why not get out of the old box and dream and think big, since you dream and think all the time anyhow? Think big, not small, and all things become possible.

Take a few minutes each day in meditation to observe how big or small your thoughts and dreams are and then adjust in whatever way feels right. Unfetter your sense of the possible.

You can have anything you want, if you will give up the belief that you can’t have it.

Albert Einstein