Darwin awards and disarming techniques

Welcome to the latest wave of *Fika for Your Soul*!

In mid-September I shared my own material in person for the first time. It was a 90-minute talk to a small-ish group. It was titled, “6 Keys to Wholeness – Your Map to Inner and Outer Magic”, and it covered how we can bridge our inner and outer worlds and an exercise showing the participants where their learning or growing edge is currently, based on the 6 Keys to Wholeness model.

On the surface, doing the talk might not seem like much…but it’s actually massive. Sharing my material is something that I’ve been putting off for years.

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Having done the talk and seeing it received well is an awesome feeling. And, at the same time, it feels very strange because I’ve spent most of my life in the background, supporting other people.

As you might imagine, preparing the talk was at the front of my mind, so I didn’t write this post as planned…

…I figured I could record a video instead. Great idea! I brought out my phone and opened the camera app and spent the next 10 minutes talking about what I was going to talk about, only to realise that I hadn’t actually switched to video and hit record. Duh!

No further along. 🙂 Back to square one.

This reminds me of something I got introduced to recently – the notion of the Darwin Awards. It came up in conversation thanks to some daft action-taking.

What are the Darwin Awards, you may wonder? Well, Wikipedia has this to say:

“The Darwin Awards are a tongue-in-cheek honor, originating in Usenet newsgroup discussions around 1985. They recognize individuals who have supposedly contributed to human evolution by selecting themselves out of the gene pool via death or sterilization by their own actions.”

I laughed out loud when my friend told me about it as it’s a loving and not too brutal way of owning up to having done something not too clever.

Early on in my career I recognised the power of admitting to screw-ups, instead of trying to blame other people or circumstances, or in any other way try and run away from what might not have turned out so great. In my experience, still to this day, it’s the best disarming technique there is. Most of the time it prevents blown fuses and dominating anger. Sure, there can still be telling-off and stern talking, but they become more constructive.

I’ve applied the same approach in my personal life, with the difference that here I’ve added bucket loads of inner scorning and criticising of myself to no end. Which has had me play small, as the thought of sharing those ‘misfortunes’ made me feel like a failure at living life.

Somehow, now, the knee-jerk reaction of self-scorn is gone, and I’ll happily share my not-so-fine moments. 😉

…Maybe this side of openness is a result of having done the talk and seeing that the world didn’t implode. And that whatever mistakes I made didn’t catapult us into a different planetary orbit.

…Maybe it’s having had the courage to step into a conversation about intimacy and vulnerability and what it means to be feminine…with my male coach. Conversations that have had me come out the other end a different person.

But, as I say this, I know that I don’t need to figure this one out.

What I do know is that post-talk I feel increased appreciation for being human. We’re pretty awesome. All of us.

I’m curious. How do you feel about sharing mishaps? What’s your top disarming technique? If you feel inspired, let me know.

Coming back to Darwin Awards… I’ll leave you with another qualifier:

I started smoking fairly young. At the age of 13. One fine day, I and my closest friend “went for a walk”. We sat on a bench by the lake near where we lived, puffing away. As I lit my cigarette, I thought to myself that the lighter felt a bit odd and sounded “crackly”.

What possessed me to do what I did, I’ll never know. I lifted the lighter to my ear and lit it. Whofff! Hair on fire! Hair on fire!

There are no words for it other than – incredibly stupid.

Happily, the fire was put out quickly. 🙂 No massive damage, just the horrible smell of burnt hair, and a slight imbalance comparing left and right…

And, as luck would have it, my way out of experiencing total humiliation for my stupidity was that I could still tuck my hair behind my ears so no one was the wiser. 🙂

..from my soul to yours,

Maria


Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pexels

*Fika for Your Soul* is about connecting with inspiration from everyday situations and conversations. It’s about discovery, reflection, leaning into, and stretching beyond…how we may see, understand, and express freedom, exploration, and leadership (among other things), all in the context of our daily lives. Fika (pronounced ‘Feka’) is Swedish and means taking a [coffee/tea] break.

4 thoughts on “Darwin awards and disarming techniques

  1. Hair on fire! I’ve done this. Thirteen years old, top bunk, sparklers poised and ready to receive ignition! I seriously don’t remember if fire ever made it to the sparklers because we all became fixated on putting my fired up hair out! Not to worry. I have huge amounts of curly hair that can be disguised quite easily. It was the smell of burning hair that didn’t quite make it past my aunt’s nose! Arrrgh!!
    For me, truth telling finds me sliding through pretty much any stupid experience with laughter and ease. I figure, whatever I’ve done others have also done. That makes us a group that understands and knits our unified linkage up in one huge ball of appreciation.
    From my fiery soul to yours,
    Marilyn😊🙏💖

    Like

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