Collapsing wave forms: Removing limiting beliefs

This is a juicy, esoteric post for those of you who love this type of exploration as much as I do. And yes…principles of quantum physics are involved. The visualization is quite complex, but powerful.

In support of my self-care repertoire for rebalancing, the universe recently provided me with  a “healing spa” in nature. I had been longing for time in nature and was planning a national parks road trip to spend time camping. But I had also just returned from a very cutting-edge clinic with a new set of protocols to follow, protocols that would be challenging to do while traveling. Of course, the universe resolved the situation for me perfectly.

A friend whose mother has a house within walking distance of Chautauqua Park in Boulder, Colorado had invited me to stay in the house until December, since her mother is living with them. I gratefully accepted the offer, but I didn’t fully understand its perfection until I headed up to explore the park this morning. The Flatirons provide a rich wilderness area in an urban setting and on my first venture up one of the trails I was guided to my “healing spa.” It is a large, almost flat rock at the base of a pine tree, an ideal place for layering my practices. Here’s what that flow looks like:

  • I do a grounding protocol. It’s inspired by Sarah McCrum, but instead of standing, I lie on my back on the rock, as close as possible to the tree, with my legs upward and my feet flattened against the bark. I ground my energy into the tree through my legs.
  • I have been doing Kaiut yoga to release stuck energy and trauma from the fascia. Having my legs on the tree is part of that.

I’ve melded many components into what feels like a very powerful practice for me. Hopefully it will have intriguing elements for you as well.

After establishing the grounding connection with the tree, I place my palms on my thighs and see my energy running into the tree and that energy piggybacking on the tree’s energy and being carried down through its root system into the Earth. I state out loud that I am connecting with the intelligent network of the New Earth and then see the energy continuing down to “inner Earth” and a crystalline blue-white orb of light. I see the crystalline blue-white light flowing back up through the Earth, into the tree, through my feet, and moving back down through my upstretched legs. Then the blue light rests in my womb as a circulating blue orb. I let it cleanse the wounded feminine energy held through my lineage and in the collective. The circulating blue orb remains in my womb to continue its work as the blue light continues up through my chakras to the heart center. There it meets a golden-white light pouring down from heaven, which I name the sacred masculine, the eternal void from which all possibilities arise and are sparked by the creative impulse.

On the way down to the heart center to join the blue light, the golden-white light deposits a pulsating, circulating golden-white orb in the pineal gland. The crystalline blue orb remains in the womb and the golden-white orb remains in the pineal while the blue and gold light (representing the sacred masculine and feminine) continue their journeys to meet in the heart-center where they form a rainbow orb in the heart.

While the blue orb in the womb, the golden orb at the pineal gland, and the rainbow orb in the heart all remain active, I integrate into this process a meditation from Dr. Valerie Hunt for creating bioscalar fields. I add in three golden rods of light of equal length piercing my body. One comes directly down through the center of my body. The second penetrates my body  horizontally through my outstretched arms. The third rod goes through my body horizontally from front to back. All three intersect in the heart center where the rainbow orb is pulsing and circulating. I see myself pulling the golden light from the ends of each rod into the pulsating rainbow orb in my heart center and then directing that energy to where it is needed for healing.

The last element in this process is for collapsing the wave forms of limiting thoughts. In quantum physics everything is understood as frequency and vibration. Everything has a unique frequency, including every thought. When you identify the frequency of a limiting thought, and then find its opposite, more powerful frequency and put those energies together, the limiting thought cancels out. In other words, it collapses.

I was surprised by how all of the elements that were so vivid while I was lying on the rock with my eyes closed remained vivid after I opened my eyes and stood to walk farther up the mountain. The inspiration to add the collapsing process came as I was walking; I was fascinated by how all the pieces of this powerful field moved with me.

In a funny way, the strong visual for collapsing wave forms came from a video game called, Bejeweled. In the game, when you make an effective combination of moves, you receive a “power gem,” which is a vibrating, circulating rainbow-colored orb. That is exactly how I was seeing the orb in my heart center. The orb in my womb remained blue and the orb in the pineal gland, gold.  In Bejeweled, if you pull a power gem into alignment with another of the same type of gem, they explode and you see bolts of lightning taking out all of the gems that are the same as the power gem. There is also a general collapsing in the field and a lot of other gems get taken out too. This play earns you a lot of points.

So let me tie this together.  As I was walking, with all aspects of the visualization I had created lying on the rock still tangibly active, I heard “collapse separation.” Holding the thought and feeling of separation, I powerfully drew in the energy from the ends of each of the golden light rods that I imagined piercing my body. Then I amplified the sacred feminine, crystalline blue light and the sacred masculine, golden white light and saw everything lining up with the orbs of light still spinning at the three points in my body (womb, heart, and pineal gland). As all of this aligned, I saw the” lightning bolts,” as in the game, move through the field and collapse all thoughts related to separation.

Being an eternal optimist and a child of wonder, I felt that something real had happened. I can’t scientifically prove it, although Dr. Hunt has a lot of data on healing in the research on Scalar meditation.

These powerful times are setting us up to activate our capacities at higher and higher levels. That’s definitely what this morning’s experience felt like. I intend to continue the practice as part of my daily forest spa routine. I’ll keep you posted on how it all evolves.

Image by Michael Gaida from Pixabay

On being passport-less, reconnecting your engine, and having a persona make-over.

Welcome to the next wave of *Fika for Your Soul*!

The summer is coming to an end here in the UK. That said, the weather has been and continues to be stellar. Living by the sea is such a treat.

Reflecting on the summer months, I’m made aware of a bigger pattern that’s up.

…The pattern of IDENTITY.

Yep. Why go for the small stuff, eh?! 🙂

Whether our focus is personal, local, regional, or global, it seems that the collective pot that contains our identity – who we are and how we show up – is being royally stirred at present. With some of our leaders challenging our understanding of what leadership is…it provokes an intimate look at what we consider decent behaviour and, in extension, who we want to be. For some this is a welcome nudge, for others not so much.

Back in May, I had to send my passport to the Home Office in connection with my EU Settlement Status application.

As an expat, I take my passport *everywhere* as it’s my only means of identification. Being passport-less…crikey, massive DISCOMFORT!

Having said a temporary good-bye to my burgundy friend I felt vulnerable.

I felt trapped because I couldn’t travel, but I discovered…

…being without my passport was also exciting. Sending it off meant I had to “let go” of my passport, and metaphorically speaking, my persona. (Truth be told, only upon reflection did I see this deeper meaning.) 🙂

To give some context: I think of “persona” as the amalgamation of the roles I inhabit in different parts of my life. It’s filled with conditioning and beliefs. It’s made up of stories that I’ve told myself about me, or that others have told me about me. It’s built upon my knowledge and experiences, my education in life.

I’m sharing all this here today because a good few years ago I realised that my version of ME (my persona) wasn’t my own. I woke up one day not recognising who I was. I felt disconnected from my own life. It felt like my soul had fallen silent.

Back then, on the surface, my life was a brilliant one. But, on looking under the proverbial hood, I saw many cables and connectors were loose, detached from the engine’s components. How could the vehicle that is my life run (anywhere!) unless everything was fully connected?

So, I made the decision to re-connect with myself. To figure out who I was at that time. Who I wanted to be, how I wanted to show up in life.

Fast-forward quite a few years…

As an extension of this exploration, I’ve reoriented my work to have soul-leadership be my focus, to guide people to rediscover their soul’s voice, and to help them align their inner and outer worlds (no need to choose one over the other). To help them create freedom and wholeness. Just as I did for myself. 

That isn’t to say that I’m all done. No. It’s a continuous journey. But now, my engine is connected and my vehicle is taking me to places that are meaningful to me.

I’ll close by circling back to identity.

…Not surprisingly, our everyday situations and circumstances give clear pointers to our identity, and how we identify ourselves.

If it’s been a while since you thought about the words and language you use to describe yourself, or you’ve recently felt a desire, nudge, or even a yearning to revisit how you describe today’s version of you, here are a few tips to get you started.

Ask a few of your closest and most trusted friends or connections to share:

  • Three characteristics that would describe you.
  • Your top three strengths.
  • Three words that would signify how you show up.
  • How you make them feel.
  • What’s your special sauce.
  • What colour and shape they would ascribe to you, if they were to describe you this way.

These are just examples; I’m sure this will spark alternative versions that are perfect for you. No matter which questions or characteristics you use, you’ll be surprised at what others see in you that you may not see in yourself. I did this a few years ago myself. At first it was terrifying, so I started with a small circle, then expanded it a bit the feedback took me by surprise. I found out that the way I described myself was seriously out of date. We would benefit from doing this exercise regularly as we change and evolve with every interaction. (Not leave it for 20 years like I did!) 

I’m happy to report that my passport was safely returned from the Home Office, and the application for settled status was approved. I’m no longer in no man’s land. I can travel again. And, in terms of the right to live and work in the UK…I’m prepped for Brexit. 🙂

..from my soul to yours,


If someone has forwarded this email to you and you’d like to receive your own copy in the future, let me know here.

*Fika for Your Soul* is about connecting with inspiration from everyday situations and conversations. It’s about discovery, reflection, leaning into, and stretching beyond…how we may see, understand, and express freedom, exploration, and leadership (among other things), all in the context of our daily lives.

If you follow anyone other than your Self, you will surely get lost

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
Do not believe in anything because it is spoken and rumored by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers or elders.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason,
and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live it.
The Buddha, in the Kalama Sutra

I find the advice above from the Buddha rather amazing given that it was spoken over 2,500 years ago. Nowadays with the internet and the incredible amount of information that is available to us, his guidance is even more essential.

An old adage goes: “No shoe fits all sizes.” So, too, no teaching or teacher is the proper fit for everyone. I have learned over the years to practice discernment and really go within to make sure that whatever teacher or teaching I am engaging with really rings true for me.

Initially, of course, I take the time to study and research the teacher or teachings, but I have learned to not primarily use my mind and to not do an intellectual analysis to determine what’s true for me. What I have learned to do, instead, is to quiet my mind, go into the stillness, and just “feel into” whether this is right for me at this time in my evolution. And then if it feels right, I accept it, explore it, and live it.

It’s not a one-time thing. I am constantly growing and changing, so I periodically go within to check again to see whether a particular teaching, teacher, or practice still “feels” right.

I am not saying it’s best to keep shopping around and never settle on anything. Not at all! What I am saying is to always go within to make sure you are still on the right path, namely your own path and not anyone else’s.

A path is not a static experience. It is something you continue to travel on; it is a journey. Yes, at times you stop to rest, but then you get up and continue moving through an ever-changing landscape. Your life, your dreams, and your beliefs are constantly evolving!

Every teacher/teaching is a step up your mountain of mastery. But each step leads to another step. No step is an end in itself.

One thing I love to repeat over and over in my classes is: “If you follow anyone other than your Self, you will surely get lost.”

You must be true to yourself. The only way to do that and to know your path and yourself is to regularly go within and listen. Then you will stay on your path.

So, take some time every day to go within. That’s how you’ll find and follow your Self, and learn to know and believe in your Self.

Believing the impossible

“One can’t believe impossible things,” Alice said.
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll

What is possible? Whatever you believe to be possible is what is possible! The impossible is impossible because you believe it to be so.

We create our reality by virtue of what we believe. Within each one of us is enormous potential, but often we do not manifest it or even realize it is there. The Latin root for the word “potential” and for “potency” is the same.

Within each of us is such great potency or power or potential to create, but because we think small, we create and experience small. The Universe/God is infinite potential waiting to be actualized. We, through our thoughts and feelings, can draw in this infinite potential and make it become manifest. This drawing in of that infinite potential via our thoughts is precisely what enables us to be co-creators made in his/her Image.

But if your thoughts and beliefs about what is possible for you are small, you will never dream or create or experience “big.” Why not get out of the old box and dream and think big, since you dream and think all the time anyhow? Think big, not small, and all things become possible.

Take a few minutes each day in meditation to observe how big or small your thoughts and dreams are and then adjust in whatever way feels right. Unfetter your sense of the possible.

You can have anything you want, if you will give up the belief that you can’t have it.

Albert Einstein

Situational vs. foundational trust

We’re often advised to “trust,” as if trust were a monolithic thing that we all approach the same way. It isn’t. Trust can be situational or foundational, as well as immature or profound.

Most of us don’t need to think too long or hard to find personal examples of both immature trust and earned situational trust. This learning requires life experience; we make mistakes and we may never feel fully confident of our ability to trust wisely.

The wisdom of foundational trust says that life itself is trustworthy. Cultivating foundational trust begins with our attitude or stance toward life. The moment we are open to the idea that life is essentially kind and nurturing, we begin growing our foundational trust.

Living from a place of foundational trust affects every aspect of life. It means that we meet life’s circumstances and challenges with our hearts, minds, and eyes open for the blessings and possibilities. If this comes with any desire to pretend that what is happening is not happening or to change what is happening because it’s something we don’t like, it misses the point. Foundational trust is not a Pollyanna approach to life. Far from it.

Foundational trust meets life where it is. “Ah, here is what is happening. I don’t love this and yet I trust that there is something that wants to happen that is ultimately going to serve.” Meeting life from this place means that we are not in opposition to whatever is happening in the moment.

Who we are really – that place at the very center – equals how we show up in life. Cultivating foundational trust moves us from the surface of our self, from roles and reactions, into our depth, our strength and our authenticity. When our actions in life arise from this depth they have an entirely different order of impact. And perhaps best of all, life tends to deliver very different lessons to one who trusts.

A big shift in my life was when I stopped trying to manage it. I gave up all my strategies for getting what I wanted and avoiding what I didn’t want. I clearly remember my decision to live life differently, my fear of letting go of the ways I knew, and the moment I opened to not knowing.

I was out for a morning run along a beach near where I lived, and really in my head. “How do I let go, how do I change,” kept repeating in my mind. Then out of nowhere I noticed the wind off the sea as it brushed my skin and heard the gulls and bird song and the sound of waves. A quiet settled over my mind, and it became this recognition: “I can’t control any of this, the wind, waves, sounds, I can’t control any of this.” And that was it, really. That’s when I began to shift from a life driven by will to one based more and more on trust.

That happened in 1983. I had an inkling that everything would be on a different footing from then on, but I had no idea how completely and profoundly the moment on the beach would change my life. New career opportunities were given to me, and I said yes. The chance to go out into the world in an experiment of trust came, and I said yes. New people with unfamiliar perspectives showed up again and again, each inviting me to question my beloved viewpoints and opinions. Every opening and encounter took me naturally on to the next.

In 1989, I landed at The Findhorn Foundation (an intentional spiritual community in Northern Scotland). There I was challenged to let go of lingering victimhood and step more fully into leadership. That’s also where I met the woman I have been married with for the past 27.5 years. And believe me when I say that this relationship has called for ever deepening trust – to trust that I am safe, to trust that I am loved, and to trust that I know how to love without holding back.

When I tell this story, some people listen hungrily, and others listen with a degree of skeptical reserve. That’s okay. The hungry ones will find their own ways to connect with deep trust in life and the skeptics will find whatever path best suits them. There are many paths; some are less direct, but none are wrong.

Editor’s note: This is TEZ team member Evan Renaert’s first post for The Enlightenment Zone blog. Thank you, Evan!

Photo by Purnomo Capunk on Unsplash

Your future self is watching you: Live today’s dream, not yesterday’s

If you do not go within, you go without.

Neale Donald Walsch

Remember to look within. For it is only there that one can really find who one truly is and what is most important.

Take some time on a regular basis to slow down and go within. Suspend for a while what you think you should be doing and instead just listen to the Silence within and allow its voice to speak to you.

Slowing down and taking inventory of who you are and where you are headed is so, so important. The word inventory comes from a Latin word that means “to find, discover, ascertain.” So, by slowing down your overly active thinking mind, you can go within and, in the Quiet, discover your Self rather than constantly getting caught up in your ego mind’s never-ending, repetitive prattle.

The word invent comes from the same Latin root as inventory. By going in and listening within, you can re-invent yourself.

So, take a few deep breaths now, quiet your mind, and go within and gently and without too much focus ask, “What dream am I living now? Am I living the dream I had five years ago or my dream today? Can I be happy and fulfilled living yesterday’s dream or someone else’s dream? What is my dream today?”

Gently allow these questions or similar ones to float out there and then just sit back and listen. Do not seek your mind’s ruminations, just be still and sense, see, and feel whatever impressions, feelings, or images arise. Just “be” with them and with your Self.

You will be surprised at what comes up for you if you leave your mind behind. Don’t strain or “try,” just allow the process to come to you. Be open and receptive. In time, as you practice this, a clearer and clearer vision will come to you of yourself.

Actually, as you practice this, you learn that being conscious of who you are is a moment-to-moment process – one  where you learn to “feel in” first rather than “think” first. It is a process whereby you lose your mind and come to your senses.

It can be a bit of a stretch, if you haven’t tried it before, to ignore your mind and, instead, listen first to your heart/soul or your intuition/feelings, but it’s a good stretch—a healthy stretch. I suggest you try it for a while because by doing so, you will find your Self and your present dream. The dream your future self has been patiently waiting to reveal to you.

The final frontier is the journey within.

Inclusion envy

To be part of something larger than ourselves is an innate human drive. In our current dualistic paradigm, separation means being vulnerable, and vulnerability brings up survival issues.

When our efforts to be included are thwarted, or we simply give up on being included, one outgrowth of that can be cancer. The cancer can actually be cellular, as described in the prior blog Synchronicity and the importance of community, or it can take the form of “damaged” social systems and ways of relating that keep replicating, bringing about imbalance and decline.

I want to be radically transparent here, to offer my experience in a way that others can relate to, to create connections across what might seem to be vast differences.

I’ve been a loner on a quest for community. The longing for community didn’t arise from a lack of self-love or dissatisfaction with my own company, but rather because my internal wiring knows that all things are in relationship and nothing thrives in isolation.

However, from the time I was a child I learned to be self-reliant and not to need anyone emotionally—part of the training for being a “rugged individual.” I come from a family of good people—an average dysfunctional family—with limited skillsets for being emotionally present and able to express love without co-dependent hooks.

Being an empath didn’t help matters any. I was often confused when what I was being told wasn’t what I was picking up at a feeling level. For example, being told, “I love you,” from a parent who didn’t have time for me, or knowing that the love depended on meeting certain expectations. As an adult my course consistently veered from what my family or society deemed the best ways to fit in and have a good life. I know they wanted the best for me, although somewhere along the way the idea of having a good life turned into keeping one’s suffering to a minimum. It was sort of the “life is hard and then you die” perspective under a façade of “everything is fine.” I wanted to be included in social groups, but I just wasn’t finding the option that felt right and I knew that the consequences of living a lie were more painful than not fitting in.

I envied those who seemed to have  found inclusion, although I also saw the price tag that often went with it. In my teens I vowed that I would never use any substance to avoid being uncomfortable, either in a social setting or alone. I pretty much managed to hold true to that, with the exception of food, which I justified as a necessity. It’s not a necessity, however, when you eat six donuts and then black out driving a car because of a blood sugar crash. Hence, I too was hooked into numbing, to some extent.

Getting back to the idea of inclusion envy, there are various ways such envy plays out. Here are a few examples:

  1. Back-biting, small-talk, bullying and gangs when we derive our way of finding inclusion from pack-mentality power.
  2. Unbridled consumerism in an attempt to have what the “in-group” has.
  3. Negative thoughts or judgements about those we feel excluded by or less than.
  4. Angry disconnection and deep pain that leads to lashing out at general populations, i.e., mass shooters.
  5. Self-destructive behaviors or numbing when we don’t feel we can measure up, sometimes combined with resentment that one should have to measure up to empty standards.

I got tired of non-optimal options for social inclusion, preferring the richness of an inner spiritual journey. Yet, the bottom line was that I was still seeking inclusion. In this case it was a merging with the Divine, which I now see I never left. The beauty is that I am placed right back here, in the world of unique form, to help re-weave the web of inclusion at a higher octave.

Here are a few relevant quotes from Carl Jung:

“Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.”

“What usually has the strongest psychic effect on the child is the life the parent has not lived.”

“A man who is unconscious of himself acts in a blind, instinctive way, and is, in addition, fooled by all the illusions that arise when he sees everything that he is not conscious of in himself coming to meet him from outside as projections upon his neighbor.”

Photo by William White on Unsplash